We have all been there; someone or something has impacted our lives in a negative way, and we can’t seem to let it go.

Whether it is the loss of a job, a promotion, or a relationship. We hold onto the event, replaying it over and over again in our minds. We have this belief that by replaying what has happened, something will change.

In doing so, we only make matters worse. This would be like throwing gasoline on a fire in an attempt to put it out.

We use up vital energy by continuing to replay the event. The fact is, there are no “woulda, coulda, shoulda’s”. No matter how hard we wish we could, we can’t change the past. All the replays in the world will not undo what has been done.

We do have a choice, though. A choice regarding how we want to deal with what happened to us. We have the opportunity to take our energy and apply it in a way that helps us move forward, that helps us heal.

We can learn and grow from what happened. I know this may seem difficult to do at the time, but if we use our energy in a positive way, we can begin moving forward with our lives rather than being stuck in the quicksand of replaying what occurred.

If we hold on to the negative, we allow the event to own part or all of us. We give up control of our lives to someone or something else. This loss of control equates to a similar loss of our happiness.

When we make the choice to let go or forgive, we take back the power, the control that we have given away. The more control you feel you have of your life, the happier you will be.

Forgiveness Action Steps

• Make a list of the negative people or events that you are holding on to
• Be aware of how these people or events make you feel
• Look for the lesson that you can learn from what has happened, and write it down
• Recognize that replaying the event will not change what happended
• Repeat aloud, “I let it go”
• Resolve to never let it happen again
• Use your energy to preplay your life
• Affirm aloud the way you want your life to be, and who you want to be (Examples: “I am in a healthy, loving relationship”… “I am responsible”…”I like myself”… “I am a winner”)
• Take back control (ownership) of you… of your life