Self esteem is that “deep down inside you” gut feeling of how much you like yourself. It is your inner sense of being valuable, important, well liked, and worthwhile. Dr. Denis Waitley, world renowned psychologist, author, and motivational speaker says, “Positive self esteem is the single most important characteristic of a winning human being”.

What determines your self esteem? In simple terms, it is two things. First, it is an accumulation of how you have talked to yourself and how others (parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, bosses) have talked to you since the time you were old enough to understand. Second, you believed and accepted it.

What can you do to strengthen your positive self esteem?

Think, talk, act, and believe that you are winner! When using your inner voice and when speaking to others, choose words that empower and inspire you rather than words that cut you down. Awareness is the key. Start by being aware of how you talk to yourself. Change your words from, “I’ll try” to “I will”… from “I can’t” to “I can”.

Create positive affirmations to replace those limiting beliefs that you have believed for all these years. Say things like, “I am a winner”… “I am responsible”… “I like myself”.

Make a Difference

Support and build the self esteem of others…

Help others build positive self esteem (your spouse, children, friends, employees and co-workers). Continually inspire and empower them. Be positive; remember that your words can either build them up or tear them down.

Avoid using words that tear others down or reduce their feeling of self worth. That does not imply that you should avoid dealing with unacceptable behavior or performance. On the contrary, this should always be dealt with immediately. When people don’t perform or act in a way that is acceptable, focus on what they need to improve upon. Separate the person from their actions… In other words, tell them you like or respect them, but that you do not like, nor will you accept, what they did. For example: “Johnny, you know I love you, but I don’t like it when you don’t clean your room”… or “Tom, you are a valued employee, but your tardiness is unacceptable and it will not be tolerated again. You are better than this”.

One of the key responsibilities of a leader is to create an environment and culture that supports and builds the self esteem of the people that work for the company. The same holds true for us as parents, partners, and friends. Remember that appreciation, praise, gratitude, and recognition are some of the most powerful tools you can use to strengthen the self esteem of others.

Remember… Every day is a gift, and the quality of your life is your gift to yourself.